Conjunction Junction, What's your Function?

The 1970' were a great time of discovery and impressive events. To name few:

• Computer floppy disk invented
• VCR's introduced
• M*A*S*H premiers
• Mark Spitz won 7 gold medals
• Microsoft founded
• Star Wars movies
• Sony introduced the Walkman, to name a few

Even amongst all of these great and considerable achievements there was an idea or a theory if you will, that our beautiful Earth was going through a major temperature change. Nay, a climate catastrophe. Have you ever heard of the crazy theory of Global Warming? Well, if you came straight out of the 70's you would bawk at this theory. Why you ask? In the 70's, people subscribed to the Theory of Global Cooling. That's right folks Global Cooling. Global Cooling was the result of a bunch of scientist making an educated guess on the Earth's climate without fully understanding the cycles of the Ice Ages mixed with a slight downward trend in the Earth's temperatures from 1940 to present time, 1970. Really? Really? Are you telling me that scientist can be wrong? Bawk, I say. Are you also trying to say that scientist made a bold prediction with little knowledge in the first place and mostly wrong information to follow? Bawk, my dear man, bawk. Now, to be fair, there was also many reports out claiming there would be a global warming trend instead, but thanks to the good ole "duty to report only the truth" media, The Global Cooling Theory took off like falling off the side of the flat Earth. In fact, in 1975 the National Academy of Sciences studied the Earth's climate and submitted a report titled "Understanding Climate Change: A Program for Action." Unfortunately, this report failed to make any programs for action but instead outlined reasons why the subject needed more research (this is when you stop reading and go to Kmart to buy a coat and snow boots, people, come on). Lame. Also, in 1975, Newsweek released an article discussing the "ominous signs that the Earth's weather patterns have begun to change." The article claimed "The evidence in support of these predictions has now begun to accumulate so massively that meteorologists are hard-pressed to keep up with it." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_cooling) The article went so far as to mention melting the Arctic ice caps with black soot to save our doomed planet. It is even possible to see the effect of Global Cooling on the popular 1970's children television program Schoolhouse Rock. The Earth is singing a song about finding different solutions for our world's energy program and about half way through the Earth sings the lyrics "Nuclear, Thermal, and Solar...if we miss we will get colder and colder and colder!!!!!!!!" (This happens at ticker time 2:22) Apparently it is totally possible for humans to blow simple ideas as totally out of proportion without looking for all the facts first? Never! In case you are wondering, it is currently snowing on 05/13/2010. Oh, well...it's only a little while until 12/12/2012 anyways, right?